Everyone’s heard of chastity, but usually it’s in the pretense of not having sex. This is a grossly under developed use of the word. It’s not just sex or no sex. There’s physical love and sentimental love. Emotional chastity came up recently with a new friend of mine, which encompasses the emotional side.
I have this rule that I won’t put myself in one on one situations with men who are in serious relationships with a woman. It’s a rule my friends have and I have adopted it. I’d never want any of the people who I hold dear to me to get the wrong impression, nor would I want the guilt of letting the enemy wiggle into a crack I may have started.
Recently I broke that rule and I regret it. I befriended a male at a gym I work at. He’s really attractive in many ways; I would be interested in him if he weren’t married. Long story short he told me about this messaging app, I downloaded it and he added me as a friend. He would start conversations about whatever-nothing inappropriate-but I felt uneasy all the same. Despite this, I’d reply.
We were chatting on Saturday and all of a sudden it stopped. I checked yesterday and we’re no longer friends on the app. I’m not sure if it was something I said. I mentioned something a little racist, but I was making fun of people who would take the situation there. I thought he would be one to take it jokingly. The internet and written conversation is a blessing and curse.
It really upset me that we were no longer friends so I brought it up with this new friend of mine. The key to making new friends is to be somewhat vulnerable, by the way. I also told her my rule. She said “Well consider it a blessing, now you don’t have to talk to him.” So that I shall.
In case you want a really good perspective on emotional chastity, I’d read this blog post.
I don’t do well with gray area. Maybe you do. But for this reason, this guilt, this anxiety, I hold that standard in my life. I encourage you to think about why you may need that relationship in your life and if you could fulfill it other ways.