During my 27 years of being single I have had a lot of time to develop what I thought was the perfect checklist for my soulmate. Honesty, good money management skills, healthy habits, helps me slow down, Catholic, with a side of tall, handsome, and athletic.
I’ve also done my fair share of reading about/observing relationships. If your man does x,y,z you should get over it. A, b, and c are red flags. L, m, and n are things that could change over time. D, e, and f are deal-breakers. I’m breaking up with him because g, h, i. He brings me flowers so I love him forever. The following are values that were confirmed are important to me.
- Apologizing. It was a big step when he took the time to apologize for something that he did wrong, all without my prompting him to
- Thoughtfulness. There was a weekend we were apart and he had something going on late into the night. He took the time to step away from the obligation to call me before I went to bed because he knows I go to sleep early.
- Chivalry. One of my biggest personal growth points is to let a man do things for me. It’s been a big change from being the strong, independent, I can do anything woman my parents raised me to be. He bought me flowers, he would help me with my technology issues (even though I could have figured out most of them myself, I wanted to let him feel masculine), carry my bicycle up the stairs, cook dinner, and walk on the outside of the street.
- Adventure/spontaneity. I’m such a planner, and while sometimes it is really difficult to adapt to someone who is not, it turned out to be fun setting off and not really having expectations for what would happen.
- Good food sharer
- Can make me laugh
- Is smarter than me in some ways
- Compliments me/notices when I try to impress him
- Asks me about my comfort-This played an important role in many situations and I was really glad he was concerned about it.
- Good conversation. We almost never run out of things to talk about
- Can stand silence. Even if we did, we were comfortable in the silence.
- Is willing to try new things.
- Is handy. He could fix his own car/motorcycle, to me that is super sexy
- Financially conscience. Knew to invest in index funds/Roth IRA. Man after my own heart.
Disclaimer-This isn’t everything, it doesn’t include some basics like family-oriented, into healthy habits, Catholicism, but I figure those go without saying based on my blog.